"I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord."

-Psalm 27:13-14

This verse has been one of the most important to me for the past three or four months. I don't know what my life will end up looking like. Will I get to live a long and healthy life? Will it be cut short? Will I have to suffer with this health crap for much longer? I don't know, but in the words of David, I am still confident that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I want my life to be the story of miraculous healing...of Job's last part better than the first...but I don't know. It's so hard to trust God in the midst of the unknown. To know that whatever my lot in life, He cares; He loves; He holds.

I absolutely believe God heals, and I've asked many many times why He won't heal me yet. I don't know if I'll ever get that answer, but I'm learning that this is what faith is made of. Holding onto hope even when you don't have an answer for the "why". I'll admit, most days I feel hopeless. I wonder if this will ever end, but I am reminded by the Psalmist to put my hope in God. He's never failed me yet.